Elektra (2005)

 

Directed by Brett Ratner. Starring Jennifer Garner, Terrence Stamp, Goran Visnjic. Cert: 12. Running Time: 100 Mins Approx

Bad, bad, bad. There usually are some redeeming features to a film. I suppose you can argue that just watching Jennifer Garner do her thing is enough to carry a film but not in this case. It is full of cardboard cut out characters that are never fleshed out. The bolted on love story is an indication that they know how weak the main story is. The love story in Daredevil was held up as one of the bad things about that film, but no lessons have been learnt here. I actually liked Daredevil; this was tedious. Bad action, bad acting, bad story, bad film. Don’t touch it with a bargepole. Especially if you like Elektra as a character from the comics.

Constantine (2005)

Directed by Francis Lawrence. Starring Keanu Reeves; Rachel Weisz; Tilda Swinton. Cert: 15. Running Time: 115 Mins.

Another film where the source material is taken more as a jumping off point than the gospel. It’s another film that has had the die-hard fans of the original product gnashing their teeth. Hellblazer should have been left alone, filmed exactly like the book, they cry, and why did you pick Keanu if you were going to make John Constantine an American rather than an English man? they say. The Matrix sequels had already triggered a pretty major backlash against him and what ground he had gained with that first film was lost with some people. Of course he has always had his supporters too and the people who could get their head around the changes to the story couldn’t fail to be happy.
Now I’ll admit that when I heard that John was now an American I suffered a momentary twinge of comic-fan agony myself — John Constantine and his family playing a pretty major role in the New DC Comic Universe. Then I thought, well hey, I am one of the few people I know that liked the Matrix sequels, so let’s give this thing a go. And I’m glad I did.
It has some cracking special effects and one of the better, more interesting takes on depicting hell in modern film. It is not the abstract notion that they usually ram down your throat — it is located in and looks very much like the real world and it is a triumph.
The story is a pretty simple one and lacks a lot of the depth that the comic books have, but that is often the case.; here it does nothing to damage the story. Rachel Weisz is good in her double role, Keanu convinces, Tilda Swinton is amazing as Gabriel, and with Peter Stormare playing the devil, what more do you need?
This is one of those films that is going to become a cult phenomenon. Once people accept it for what it is and don’t keep comparing it to it’s comic-book brother the younger sibling will get the break it deserves. This is great — action-packed, full of ideas, and convincing. A must see.

Bewitched (2005)

Directed by Nora Ephron. Starring Nicole Kidman; Will Ferrell; Shirley Maclaine; Michael Caine; Jason Schwartzman. Cert: PG. Running Time: 1 Hr 38 Mins.

I hated this film. The review should perhaps end then. I like Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley Maclaine, Michael Caine and Jason Schwartzman — in fact I love a number of each of their films. And Nora Ephron is usually so reliable.

This kind of thing has been done before and done well — the first Brady Bunch movie achieved it; Charlie’s Angels pulled it off; even Starsky and Hutch got some things right. Why does this movie go so wrong? Because it thinks it is being clever and it is in your face about it. And this film manages to replace any charm the original had with the soul of a petulant sulky child. Watching it is was like having hot needles pushed into my eyeballs and I only sat there because I have a self-destrucive nature that makes me unable to not watch a film from start to finish.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life (2003)

 

Directed by Jan De Bont. Starring Angelina Jolie; Ciaran Hinds; Noah Taylor; Gerard Butler. Cert: 12. Running Time: 113 Mins Approx.

Well, what to say? It is not really a film, just a reason to keep stuntmen and stunt co-ordinators in work, and it does that fine. Jan De Bont is a perfect director to have on board then? Well he makes a better go of this than he did Speed 2. The cast here know what is expected of them and it isn’t much. It is like a series of levels in a computer game that seem barely connected except for the fact that you have to get through them to get to the next one. And the prize? A terrifying lava lamp. It uses all the same dynamics as the last film. It doesn’t push the envelope, it isn’t bigger or better. It’s only better in the sense that you may have expected much worse. It gets from A to B and you don’t have t have an embolism to get there - it’s no Sherlock Holmes mystery. Mildly enjoyable popcorn for playstation addicts.

The Family Man (2000)

Directed by Brett Ratner. Starring Nicholas Cage, Tea Leoni. Cert: 15. Running Time: 120 Mins Approx.

This charming film has the flavour of many other films: It’s A Wonderful Life; Groundhog Day; and Sliding Doors and I suppose the word one would use to describe it is Capraesque.

Cage is great — at once able to pull off the cold, ruthless business man with only commerce in his life, and the family man with a big heart. The whole thing runs so smoothly and progresses so naturally that you forget you’ve been sold this idea before. It seems new, the characters seem real. Jack Campbell’s is a journey you are glad to have taken. And it pulls off the feat that the best of Capa did, to not seem overly sugar-sweet while being heart warming. A wonderful film.

Wallace And Grommit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (2006)

Directed By Nick Park and Steve Box. Cert: PG. Running Time: 2 Hours 3 Mins.

Aardman is a hallmark of quality. The team seems to have the Midas touch. If only every single film-maker paid as much attention to detail or so lovingly created each piece of scenery and lit it so well. This is like the best children’s books, and of course films, in that there is stuff for the kids and the adults.

You mention Wallace and Gromit and you have a guaranteed audience already. They are as easily identifiable as The Simpsons, and in their own smaller way just as much-loved. That old adage about if you know where you are going just enjoy the ride applies here but never has it been easier to do. The time flies by. And it’s probably been said before, but you love those two lumps of plasticine. Strange or not? That they can make you care more than flesh and blood actors?

There’s enough inventiveness and panache in this film to shame big budget buffoons who throw money at lost causes. You care about the vegetable growers, about Wallace’s love interest, about his plight. And you are happy when they succeed. Gripping, funny, another unmissable triumph.

The Net (1995)

Directed by Irvin Winkler. Starring Sandra Bullock; Jeremy Northam. Cert: 12. Running Time: 110 Mins.

If The Net were not a film and were used for catching fish I think it would be a poor showing. The whole thing is flatter than a pancake which has just been paid a visit by a steam-roller. It’s a wonder after this film that Bullock and Northam weren’t considered for a sequel to Mannequin where shop dummies come to life and take over Hollywood, they’re so wooden.

Angela Bennet’s plight did I suppose keep me watching until the end, but this kind of thing has been done so much better elsewhere: Enemy Of The State for one. It’s not overly gripping, has the pace of a hobbled seaside donkey and at 110 minutes overstays it’s welcome by a long stretch.

Something’s Gotta Give (2003)

Directed by Nancy Meyers. Starring Jack Nicholson; Diane Keaton; Keanu Reeves; Amanda Peet. Cert: 12. Running Time: 123 Mins Approx.

With a comedy like this you know it’s fluff. You sit down and you know where it’s going pretty much straight off. So what’s the trick? To enjoy the ride; and with big hitters like Nicholson and Keaton playing ball it’s gonna be an entertaining game.

One of Nicholson’s many strengths as an older male actor is to not be afraid to play his age, and that is not something not many of them can say. He convinces. The story convinces. He’s Jack, but then he always is. It’ just when he does it right you forget. And each event seems to grow organically, not to be stage-managed to get you somewhere, which is where these kind of things can fall down.

Keanu’s a tad wooden but he has an underwritten part to fill so what can be expected?

It has charm. It makes you smile. And there are enough nice touches to make this a pleasure to watch. Not as good ‘As Good As It Gets’ or ‘About Schmidt’ but better than the average rom-com.

Keaton is sexier than Peet. Nicholson is more charming than Reeves. The older generation wins a total smackdown in this battle. A great film.

Men In Black 2 (2002)

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Starring Tommy Lee Jones; Will Smith; Rip Torn; Lara Flynn Boyle. Cert: PG. Running Time: 84 mins.

What do you get when you have absolutely no new ideas and a big budget? This film perhaps? Stale popcorn? Not to say it’s not watchable. Not to say it’s not above average fare. But it offers nothing new. And for being only 84 minutes long it plods somewhat.

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are fine as usual, though somewhat telegraphing their performances. The supporting cast does what it needs to. And that’s it. It doesn’t knock your socks off. Doesn’t make you go ooh, ah, that’s cool. Not like the 1st one did. Which is what a sequel needs to do. Underwhelming.

Mr & Mrs Smith (2005)

Directed by Doug Liman. Starring Brad Pitt; Angelina Jolie; Vincent Donofrio. Cert: 15. Running Time: 115 mins.

Well, it’s obvious that the names are picked to be unassuming, shame the film has to be too. Doubly disappointing when you have the teaming of Mr Pitt and Ms Jolie, together with a trusted director like Liman on board — you definitely expect a little more.

The action scenes are serviceable enough but pacing tends to be the problem, in what seems to be an overly long film spun out from a momentarily interesting idea. It is all carried off with such interminable smugness that your interest, which occasionally piques, is squashed back down again.

Not enough gusto, not enough guts, and finally not enough gumption to make you care about the characters and their predicament. They’re pretty to look at, yes, and this is a popcorn movie, but it seems hobbled from the first. See it only if you have nothing else to do.